Behind the White Coat

Hookahs at Kush

Ahhh geriatrics.... Another beautiful sunny day, another night out in the city. Although this rotation allows me to relax, have fun, and go out every night, one thing I didn't account for is that I am going to go broke really really fast. But what are you gonna do right? That's life in nyc. I smell another trip to the loan officer! Ahh the life of a med student.

So last night was another wednesday night at Kush (slowly becoming the nyc home-base for Asian Massive) to hear our man Karsh Kale. It was actually very nice and not too crowded, so we got ourselves a nice table between the bar and the dj, a mango hookah, and some goose and tonics. Karsh came on at about 11:30 and fed us some tight beats and tabla fusion. It was white-socks and I with like 6 girls. Not too shabby a ratio. We got through about 2 hookahs and 4 drinks a piece, and of course what night is complete without... A smackdown. Luckily we cracked no skulls on this night, and the only thing that broke was the bowl of the hookah as I reached over to swing around the mouthpiece. The coal jumped off into my lap and my friend's, but I managed to flake off the embers before irreprable damage to my courdroy jeans and smashed that thing like a city roach. Although the skirt of my friend may have faired less well--but one must remember that a night of drinking with us will inevitably involve casualties. Come to think of it, last time at Kush, white-socks knocked over a couple of drinks and almost brought down the entire hookah, but I managed to saved the day, and the impending 75$ penalty.

The night didn't end until about 3:00am with a shwarma and lentil soup from Bereket's, conveniently located around the corner. Although their shwarma and falafel does not surpassour late nite favorite Mahmoun's, it comes in second and has a great Houston St. location, and they will never let you down. After 20 min or so of chatting and sobering up, I managed to drive my ass back to the Bronx and get 3 hours of sleep before awaking to go back to LIJ (Long Island Jewish) Hospital for another day of old people. I was so tired, after morning conference, I snuck out, drove home, and slept until 3pm. Ahhh Geriatrics.

Schiller's Liquor Bar

Ahh Geriatrics. You know life is good when you go into work at 9am and get back at 2:30pm. I had time to go to the gym (for a good amount of time), do laundry, and clean my kitchen. Quite a day. And of course, with such a lax schedule, what else to do but go into the city everyday!!

Today's dinner was at Schiller's Liquor Bar. Finallly after the third attempt at this place, we actually got a table. Of course it took a reservation on a Tuesday. On the prior attempts, two Fridays in a row left me with a 1.5-2 hour wait, so good luck getting a table after 8:30pm at this new LES hotspot! From the creator of Balthazaar and Pastis(two fancy, chic, high-end French brasseries of nyc) Keith McNally brings you a slightly different creation. The dining room is plastered with white tiles, wooden chairs and tables, smoky warehouse-like windows, and walls lined with painted wine bottles--kind of like a secret British pirate's cove for hipsters. The bathroom even has two doors for men and women, only to enter into one room with a giant tub basin as the sink, with individual doors for men and women. A very retro-dive feeling of the whole place, a nice change from the ultra-foofoo places you usually see these days. The menu was like pre-fusion. An array of dishes from all types of cusines--steak frites, fish and chips, oyster po boy and cuban sandwhiches, and even lamb curry. It was like meals from an old-school british trading port. The best was the wine list, which was simply "Cheap," "Decent," or "Good." Ranging from 15$ to a whopping 19$. We decided to be bling and went for the "Good." It was kinda like the menu for the diner from My Cousin Vinny. The wine was served in standard mini-water glasses from a custom painted wine bottle simply labeled "#3 - Good." Amazing. (For you wine snobs, the menu did indicate the type of wine you would be drinking.) Dessert was damn tasty--The sticky toffee tart I believe it was called. A warm toffee cake-like tart with ice cream. It would kill a diabetic, but damn what a good way to go. Price was surprisingly decent as well. And of course a giant Liquor Bar at the back with all types of drinks to appease you. Even when I arrived waiting for my dates, I said "I'll have a drink at the bar," and the host responded "Good. We encourage that here."
My Vote: Recommended, go on a weekday with a couple of friends and some loud conversation.

Asia Society and Italian Food

Today I visited the Asia Society on 71st and Park to hear a lecture on the economy of Pakistan by Shaukat Aziz, Minister of Finance of Pakistan (also a close family friend). Very interesting talk I must say. I learned that Pakistan's financial situation has been dramatically turned around in the past 4 or 5 years. Reform in just about every area of Pakistan's governmental and financial policies has been reducing the deficit, boosting the economy, and improving business, banking, investments, poverty, etc. The numbers were quite impressive. Even simple things like actually implementing a working method of collecting taxes and reducing corruption in the ranks can take a country a long way. Tourism has even blossomed in the homeland, and it is one beautiful country to visit! Check it out. Anyway, the Asia Society has some pretty interesting stuff that is worth checking out: lectures, art exhibits, performances, films, book readings, etc. A link between Asia and the U.S. to build awarness, understanding, and communication for the changing facets of the region and its culture. It's worth a look: www.asiasociety.org

Later I endulged in an excellent Italian meal at Mezzaluna. A long-standing neighborhood upper-east side Italian joint that really makes you feel like your in a hometown Italian restaurant, where the waiters are actually Italian, the walls are plastered with Milanese art, and the tiramisu is killer. Try the grilled squid or the black linguini. Always tasty indeed.

Coral Room and Magic Tricks

On saturday we went to check out this new place downtown called Table 50 to see if it is worthy of having a party there. Of course when we arrived we got a "are you on the list?" It was guest list only for a bunch of bdays, and we couldn't get in. Then we figured we would just go to my friend's bday party at APT--(another hipster joint in the meatpacking district, usually a good time if u make the cut.) Of course the door policy there is quit malignant as well, and despite having a decent guy-girl ratio (usually the pre-requisite to getting into most nyc lounges), at a primetime of 12:30am, we had no luck. So we ended up going to the Coral Room (in nyc, always have at least 2 backup destinations). I realized when I got there that my friend DJ Reach from Wesleyan was spinning there (he kicks ass--check him out at BLVD on Fridays and Coral Room on Saturdays), so we didn't have to wait on line and got right in. Coral Room wasn't too bad a place. A long bar area, a dance floor, an area with some tables, and good music courtesy of DJ Reach. An aquatic theme with coral and live fish all around. The highlight was the huge fish tank behind the bar where every so often you would see this girl in a bikini thong would appear for a dip. Quite entertaining, especially when she later came onto the bar with a giant fishing net jutting into the crowd collecing tips. Al in all a fun night. Though waiting 20 min on line for the bathroom is quite discouraging, and the fact that it was filled with desis. No matter where in nyc you go now, the desis will surely follow--they aint just at Lansky anymore!

But the most entertaining part of the night was earlier on at my friend's dinner party at her luscious midtown apartment. Great food, great wine, with a balcony to enjoy the breeze. So one of her friends had brought a guest--a funny looking guy who was just kind of doing his own thing. Then later in the night before he left, he revealed that he knows some magic tricks and whipped out a deck. Great. Cheesy card tricks I thought to myself. So he does a few tricks that were quite impressive and I became quite engaged. In one trick, my sister put a card back in the deck, never let go of it, and then suddenly it changed into a new card! Then at one point my friend picked a card, he shuffled it back in, and then put the deck on the floor. He then look down at the deck and seemingly made the deck move apart like he was some fucking Jedi. One card remained in the middle, and it was of course her card. No strings or anything. The fucking cards moved by themselves. I'm like, we got David fuckin Blaine over here! It was amazing. We even examined the deck, it was completely normal. He then had this necklace with some chinese writing on it. On the opposite side it had some other symbol. So then my friend picks another card, and it happens to be Jack of Hearts. She puts it back in the deck. When we look up, we realized the necklace has somehow changed. It now says in English "turn me over," and on the back, engraved in the metal, is a J with a heart next to it. This man was not human. Anyway, he did a few other very impressive tricks and it was thoroughly entertaining. It was like a dinner party at Hogwarts. You can check out his webpage here.

Procrastinating, Porn, and Pot

It's amazing what you can find to procrastinate and keep yourself occupied when you really really don't want to do something. Take my family medicine project. We have to do a paper and a powerpoint presentation, due by tomorow, and it has got to be the most annoying thing I've done in medical school. The whole rotation is just retarded, at least at our school. Anyway, during the 4 weeks of my rotation I did almost nothing. At work I would spend hours telling fat people to lose weight, smokers to quit, AIDS patients to take their meds, and 15 year olds to stop getting knocked up. Thrilling. When at home, I literally sat on my ass and watched TV all day (Well deserved after surgery, and the general public is probably safer from me that way--see below). This is the one rotation that has made me dumber. But now that I actually have to DO something this week, I spend most of my time watching the first season of Dave Chapelle (hysterical), watching the NBA playoffs (go Nets), playing hours of Poker Stars (watchout Chris Moneymaker), browsing my neglected friendster account, endless IMing, reading David Sedaris and even going to the gym daily (here I come Miami). Now I find myself with 12 hours remaining to finish a piece of shit assignment, and zero motivation. I wish I at least had a cigarette.

In other news, Michael Jackson is indicted, and Kobe gets screwed some more. Though somehow sex scandals make you more popular--R Kelly has like 3 top hits, Kobe is in the playoffs, and MJ is back in the media! And speaking of sex scandals, HIV hits the Porn industry. Well somehow it shouldn't be surprising don't you think? I'm actually shocked it took so long. (Although I bet they all have got herpes, syphillis, and the clap) But lord what will we do with no Porn, more importantly, what will the Internet do?! That could be worse than losing cable TV, it just wouldn't be right.

On a brighter note, good ole San Fran courts decides to back off from medical marijauna growers, and just in time for 4/20. I mean, they're just a bunch of sick bastards trying to get high to alleviate their symptoms. Quote one of them: "You better believe it we're gonna plant." That's the spirit. I mean, I say if your going to extract the THC from the plant and throw it into a pill, you might as well letem smoke the shit!

Benz's head

As I promised, a picture of Benz's head and his post-op wound closure is now posted under 'From Surgery to Beatdowns' So go feast your eyes. (The metal clips are the staples in his head)

Hot Days in Fatland

It was goddamn hot today. 87 degrees according to weather.com. What the fuck is that about? It was in the 40s only a few days ago, and now suddenly for two days it hits the upper 70s and lower 80s. Of course the day it is sunny and in the 80s I'm in the goddamn clinic in the South Bronx seeing mostly patients ridden with the epidemic of... Obesity. That's right baby, I spend most of my day telling people to lose those pounds because your too goddamn fat and you smoke too much. People always yell at me because I make fat jokes. Then they make fun of me because I am always being stalked by fat desi chicks. Why? God only knows, but to be on the safe side I may have to include a clause in my prenupt that limits my wife's BMI (body mass index =weight kg/height in meters squared) to below 25. (25-29 means overweight, 30-35 means obese, 35+ means your a fat bastard). And it's always pleasant to see the real huge people walk/waddle/roll into the clinic on an 85 degree sunny day drenched like Patrick Ewing in the 4th quarter (c/o Chris Rock). I have nothing against fat people, I just feel they need some motivation and encouragement so they don't end up dead before the age of 60 (I speak the truth). Sure, keep on supersizing your big macs and sitting on your ass smoking a pack per day. Though I'm sure America being the #1 nation for fast food has something to do with it. Ironically enough, McDonald's CEO Cantalupo died of a heart attack yesterday at age 60. Now that can't be good for marketing. Time to sell folks.

Enough about fat people. On another note, It is amazing what you can find on the web that yields endless entertainment. Take a look at some of the following useless yet entertaining sites I found:

The Subservient Chicken. That's right people. You command the chicken, and he will obey. I shit you not, he will do anything. I even told him to dance the jig and moonwalk. Some people have way too much time on their hands.

Let's not forget Pig Brother. CBS brought you Big Brother, those crazy Germans bring you none other than, Pig Brother. Reality TV hits the internet, and now we've signed... Wild Boars. All live, all day, all nude. If your lucky you'll catch a mating call.

If your still bored, you can spend half your day playing Bookworm. It is crazy addictive.

dementia and donald in nyc

So Wednesday night I decide to take advantage of family medicine and ditch the boogie-down Bronx for a night in NYC. Weekday parties are always fun because you get the 'true' new york lovers out for some mid-week drinks and fun, and the B&T crowds go to some diner back home. The plan was to hit up an open bar for the Gen Art film festival on the west-side, and then go down to Kush to hear some Karsh. I get ready, grab a bite to eat, and head out. I fly through the cross bronx (very rare), get to the city in under 20 min, park my car, walk up to the club, wait on line in the rain, and THEN I realize my wallet is on my desk back in the Bronx. No ID, no cash= no night in NYC. By then it was 11pm. Sadly I go back to the Bronx, only to discover I forgot to pay the garage bill. Street parking it is. In the rain.

These things tend to happen too often. Perhaps I have early onset dementia. Then I read this article, and thought maybe that's the problem. Since our brains are pretty much the same as raging alcoholics, we've got nothing to lose. Drinks are on me.

On another note, Bill takes the victory in The Apprentice. I personally think Kwame was the better man for the job. It was Omarosa that brought him down (bitch). He tried to keep the love for his people by hiring her, and she bites him in the ass. He should have fired her ass. Oh well. Then again, maybe Donald is just a racist.

From Surgery to Beatdowns

The stage is set with the end of my surgery rotation about 1 1/2 weeks ago (Now this is a key element, because it serves as my defense). Indeed this called for a celebration. It so happened that a bunch of my friends were going to this club called Mission in nyc for a bday party (last time I saw Britney Spears there, so I was game.) We decided that's where the post-surgery gala would go down.

I rolled in with a few med school friends, and my friend from columbia dental (the one with the white-socks) and his columbia med roomate, who I"ll call 'Benz.' We are having fun and drinking a lot throughout the night. A lot. Naturally by the end of the night we weren't planning on any road trips, but we could handle getting our jackets from the coat check and hopping in a cab right? Sort of.

As it goes, I am on the slow-ass coatcheck line at about 3:30am with Benz and a few friends. Now remember, it was the end of surgery and there was a lot of excitment and elation in the air. So of course we got a little carried away and decided to push each other around (all in drunken joy of course). Unfortunately Benz slipped and took a healthy spill backwards (head first). When we got him up, he was gripping his head with blood streaking down his face. I was like shit esse, I cracked his skull! So feeling somewhat responsible, I grabbed my coat, grabbed his head, and we ran out. His roomate was waiting outside and saw me stumble out with my hand on Benz's head, dripping with blood. I'm not quite sure what he was thinking, but he certainly realized there would be no mahmoun's shwarma tonight. The bouncer informed us that an ER was down the block. We decided it wasn't that bad and we could it make it back to columbia med, so we jumped in a cab and headed uptown. I had my hand on his head the whole time, and by midtown it had dried blood all over it (of course I was secretly wondering if Benz is a 'clean' guy.) By about 100th street, I think the bleeding was under control. Who needs an ER? I just finished surgery man, A little pressure, gauze, some vicryl sutures, and we'd be good to go! Or not.

By the time we arrived at the columbia dorms the bleeding had stopped, we were covered in blood, and I couldn't tell if Benz was just drunk, delerious or post-concussion. So then we took a look at the head (The picture is below). The laceration is shaped in a perfect Mercedes Benz symbol (hey at least it wasn't hyundai)-- hence the name "Benz." After a second opinion, the neighboring [sober] 4th year decided he should go to the ER for irrigation and sutures.

In the end he got about 10 staples in his scalp (sounds worse than it is) and had to stay away from partying and physical activities for 2-3 weeks. He was pretty chill about me cracking his head open because it was an accident, and he didn't go thug-life on me. He did complain that I cost him his social life for a month because he couldn't go out. I explained that I simply saved him money. The moral of this story? Don't check your coat in.

Benz's head:

Talvin and Tablas

On Friday night, my friend and I had a rare opportunity to attend a private concert by Talvin Singh in a New York City penthouse. It was a fundraiser event for breakthrough, a non-profit human rights group. Seemed like a good cause, although I was really in it for the good show, high class women, and free wine. (Especially since the 150$ entrance fee was somehow waived, making us either the VIPs or the heartless bastards who didn't empty their pockets. But come on, I'm a medical student.)

Worried about having worn mediocre shoes to go with my slacks, I was relieved to discover that there was a no-shoes policy. My friend on the other hand faired less well, having "gone ghetto," as he claimed and wore white socks with his mid rise shoes. Opting against the bare-footed approach, he bounced to buy some socks from urban-outfitters down the street before engaging the masses. Smart move considering the only white-socked guy was this disheveled, unshaven, short man with black slacks who seemed a little "slow."

The penthouse was on the top floor, one of thoses places where the elevator opens right into the apartment. Holy shit. This place was ridiculous. I've seen houses in my Jersey hometown that were smaller than this place (or palace rather). Windows all around, balconies, the works. We estimated it at $10mill. Being in there was exciting enough for me! The crowd was quite mixed, but mostly young professionals.Karsh Kale was also in attendance, as was Ajay Naidu, best known for his roles in Office Space and The Guru. It was funny seing this short little bald indian guy making the power rounds like he was the indian Tom Cruise. Alhough, with the pool of desi (slang term for south asian) actors in hollywood today, he may have had an argument. But the fact remains that he is mad short, and I mean tiny! But as luck would have it, more girls were talking to him than to us. I had to restrain myself from going up to him and asking if those TPS reports were ready.

The most game we had with the ladies at first was the 60 yr old auntie who was probably checking us out for some fat daughter of her's. It was funny how things changed after we had a conversation with Karsh before the show. As we sat down, all these girls were suddenly finding random things to say to us, now thinking we were probably someone 'important' in the scene. But I had no problem with it, I told them I was a dj/producer in nyc (which is actually half true). After all, your time is valuable and you need to prioritize who you talk to, right? I mean, who wants to talk to a 3rd year medical student? It was then that I realized: we now were Pimps. Good looking out Karsh.

Anyhows, Talvin came on with an amazing performance of energetic, classical Indian tabla music. He was on the tablas alongside Ramesh Mishra, an OG Sarangi player. I have to say they both ripped it up. Talvin's asian-fusion music is backboned by the sounds of the tabla, and he definitely showed us he has skills. I was impressed. Five glasses of wine and 2 cigs later, we found ourselves chillin on the balcony with Karsh and Suzanne Vega. All in a night's work.

I'll drop a plug for breakthrough since they did such a great job. The night was definitely a treat, especially if you have a love for tabla or tabla-influneced music. Or if you love kick-ass penthouses, free wine, and old desi aunties on the prowl.