The Day of Submission

Today was one of the more stressful days I've had in months.  Forget about the fact that I was on my fourth 12 hour ER shift in a row, on the "West" side of the ER--which is where all the really sick people are--but add to that the fact that today was the day my rank list for fellowship was due for submission.  Shit!  I tell you, I have a knack for procrastinating, but I had a huge element of indecisiveness that came into play on this one, and last minute panic for that matter, all of which made me go somewhat crazy.....

So my day in the ER started off OK.  I picked up maybe one patient every 2 hours at first, a pretty chill day.  It was the day of GI bleeds today. One dude showed up vomiting liters of blood, the last one right in front of us, bright red with clots and all.  Hepatitis C cirrhosis on the transplant list.  We gave him some blood, got him an endoscopy, and he was doing pretty well. My second guy was a guy with alcoholic cirrhosis who was found in a pool of blood.  That blood came from his ass, oh yes indeed.  Probably a liter or so of blood poured out.  By the time he came to the ER and got cleaned up, he was stable and not bleeding.  That is of course until we did a rectal exam on him, probably disrupting some clot, and out came pouring blood, and I mean it just kept coming!  We finally got him a colonscopy, finding the oozing internal hemorrhoids and rectal varices from his cirrhosis.  His blood alcohol was also at a level that could kill a horse.  Finally the sad case of the 44 year old lady with ALS.  It had progressed to involve everything, including her lungs and mouth. She was trach'd on a vent, with a PEG tube, and could only move a few fingers in her right hand, couldnt speak, but could understand everything you say.  So sad.  If it were me, I would want it all to end.  That subject, which may remind you of Jack Kevorkian who was recently released from prison, is a subject for another day....

So my ER shift ended at about 7:15pm, and my rank list was due at 9pm.  I got home at 8pm, and kept pondering!  I just could not make the final decision.  I ranked 12 programs, and it was numbers 5 through 8 that I just did not know what to do with.  I changed it so many times, and got so damned confused by then!  I hope it doesn't have to go down that low, but shit, it is so competitive this year, you just never know.  I am already having second thoughts about my final list, but just gotta let it go, and go with it, and just prey.  I know I will match somewhere, so that's all that matters I suppose. Even if I go to a place that gets my ass whooped, and I have no life, I'll be a cardiologist in the end....  June 20th is the magic day, so just gotta keep the fingers crossed....

Comments

[yat]

can you disclose these rankings?

[iqbal ratnani]

good luck

[HD]

GOOD LUCK! At least you can always fall back on your bollywood movie career!